Movie of the Day

Right! That concludes the romance portion of the movie. Everything after this is full-on. Better call-in the action-tragic from out the back - and make sure they bring in some snacks  

The Captain of the Titanic is about to cause one of the biggest clusterfucks in maritime history!

He knows about the growing number of ice-bergs; he knows that the ocean is as flat-as-a-tack making the fuckers harder to identify; and he knows that by sailing at top speed his ship has fuck-all chance of missing any ice-bergs in its path.

At least he had the good sense to go down with the ship.

So, they hit the ice-berg. In the movie - as in real-life - the collision lasts 37secs. The crew try desperately to:

• Turn away from the iceberg; and
• Slow the fuck down

But...

• They don't have a big enough rudder to turn quickly enough; and
• They are going too fucking fast

And so, when they hit the iceberg, they rip a hole along the side of the ship - long believed to be around 90m (300ft) - but has since been revised to about 9m (30ft). It's not so much the size of the hole, but rather where it is that makes the Titanic sink - the design was, as it turned out, fallible. The movie shows the iceberg ripping into the hull, including the main cargo hold and the engine room. Sailors are killed, scalded by the steam coming off the water-drenched turbines; and drown when the bulk-heads are closed, trapping them, in an effort to contain the flooding.

In the meantime, Jack is in the Security Office - deep in the bowels of the ship - hand-cuffed to a metal pole. Billy Zane's man - now in possession of a gun, has the keys to the hand-cuffs and is watching over him. After toying with a bullet for a while, he sucker-punches Jack In the guts, and leaves him to drown - taking the key with him.

After sending out a distress call, the Captain learns that the closest ship, and the only ship to have answered their call, is 4hrs away - Titanic will be sunk within the hour. The Captain is completely done. He is incapable of ordering the evacuation, to get the women and children into the life-boats. He may as well walk-away now.

In one of the more heart-warming scenes of this movie - and based on fact - a String Quartet continues playing whilst those around them are evacuated - silly to begin with but they would have been a calming influence no doubt as the situation became more and more dire.

The movie keeps chopping and changing now - becoming more frenetic - mirroring the unfolding disaster that is Titanic. We see:

• Life-boats being lowered, gingerly, half empty with only 1st class women and children
• 3rd class passengers are locked down, unable to come up on deck, waiting for the 1st class to load into the life-boats
• Rose's mum asking if the lifeboats will be seated "… according to class." Considering the 3rd class people are locked down and 2nd class don't exist I'm not sure what her issue is
• Rose spells it out - the water is freezing and there aren't enough boats for half the ship. Half of Titanic's passengers are going to die people!

And as Rose says goodbye to her mother and walks away from their life-boat, Billy Zane grabs her.

Now, remember when I said that the romance part of the movie was important? This is why. Without Jack, Rose would never have summoned the strength to rid herself of her mother, who is guilting her into a marriage she doesn't want; she would never have spit in the eye of her fiancé who she doesn't love, in order to choose the man she does love. And by choosing Jack, she is ridding herself of the shackles her life.

Rose needs to toughen up in order to survive the next few hours, days and indeed the rest of her life. Wow - that was deep.

As Rose heads off to find Jack, our Architect is going room-to-room urging people to get their life-vests on and head up to the evacuation deck. Shame he didn't install a PA system... And as he trawls the decks, he finds the life-boats are only a third full. He implores the First Officer to fill them up for fucks sake!

With timely instructions from the Architect Rose finds Jack, with the water lapping around his ankles, and rising quickly. Unable to find the key, Rose goes looking for help. With the water around her waist.. around her chest... Rose finds herself having to wade through the freezing water. And with noone willing to help her - she's on her own. She returns with an axe. A bloody axe! Lucky for Leo, Kate didn't miss!!

Below deck, it is chaos! The 3rd class passengers are fucked! Passengers are lost, confused, scared and worst of all, locked in - they are STILL waiting for the 1st class fuckers! They're scurrying from aisle to aisle trying to find an open exit. Jack and his mates use a bench-seat to break their way out.

Above deck, it is chaos! People have finally realised that the ship is sinking - fast - and room on the life-boats is filling-up - fast. The sailors are resorting to threats of violence to keep people under control; warning shots have already been fired. In the rush to lower the life-boats they are being lowered without the boat beneath having cleared first! People are frantically cutting ropes and using oars to try to push the boats out of each other's way.

Frustrated that the life-boats are being filled with women and children, we find Billy Zane hell-bent on buying his way off this bloody ship! He has retrieved his big blue diamond and with a wad of cash from his safe, heads to a quieter section of the ship, where men are being let onto the life-boats. He has bought his seat… but then learns that Rose and Jack are on the other side of the ship. This fucker is out for revenge. Idiot.

At a time when so many of the sailors are handling the evacuation of the life-boats, the on-going evacuation within the ship, even the locking-in of the 3rd class passengers - in other words, they're staying put and doing their jobs - the ship's owner, 'the fool' - slithers his way into a life-boat, like a big slimy slug. The First Officer is disgusted.

Just as Rose is seated in a life-boat, with Jack, Billy Zane and Billy Zane's man looking on, she inexplicably jumps out - back onto the sinking Titanic.

And Billy Zane completely loses his shit! He grab's his man's gun and starts shooting at both Rose and Jack. He only stops when he runs out of bullets and finds himself waist-deep in the North Atlantic Ocean - which is in the dining room.

With the ship groaning and shuddering, our star-crossed lovers find themselves on the lower levels once more. This time however, the water is flooding in and they get trapped behind one of those motherfucking gates. It's a tense few moments as they fumble with keys that a panicky sailor has dropped. The rising water nearly claims them both.

They arrive back on deck to scenes of utter pandemonium.

• The First Officer, in desperation shoots two people - he really didn't mean to - and then promptly shoots himself
• Billy Zane grabs an abandoned child - one that he had passed by and left, 2mins earlier - so that he can make his way onto a life-boat

And that's how you get onto a life-boat people - find someone's 'discarded' child and pretend you are all s/he has left in this world. It's a shame Billy Zane's man didn't think to pull the same stunt… Billy left him 'high and dry' back on the Titanic - get it, high and dry. Ahh, I crack myself up!

It's been a while since we've heard from our Architect. Rose and Jack find him as they run through the dining room - OMFG when are these two going to stop running already, it's exhausting! He's just standing there, in front of the fire. And that's where he'll stay.

Our quartet have reached the end of their set. Their final song, 'Nearer my God to Thee' - a personal favourite - is haunting, as we witness:

• An elderly couple lying on their bed, in each other's arms as the water rushes in to claim them
• A 3rd class passenger mum telling her young children a bed-time story, as she tucks them into bed for their very last sleep
• The heroism of some passengers, as they try to ensure that other lives are saved
• The cowardice of other passengers, as they try to save themselves, and only themselves
• The realisation that the ship is almost out time, and the abject terror that it brings
• The final moments of the Captain - he dies at the helm of his ship - crushed by the full force of the ocean

Now we're getting to the part I really love - the part that made this movie so real for me. The ship is close to sinking and to say that there is chaos onboard is manifestly inadequate. Try mayhem, widespread confusion, complete disarray, all-encompassing pervasive terror.

That sounds about right.

The ship has started to… list? trim? Hmm not sure on this one. Let's just say the front of the ship is under water and the rear of the ship is starting to come out of the water. People are running towards the back of the ship. The vast ballroom, dining-room and grand-staircase are being inundated with water - anyone near a window on the outside of the ship, is being sucked into the ship, where they will drown. The water is flooding into the ship with such force that doors are EXPLODING!! off their hinges.

Rose and Jack are clambering over rails and debris, pressing their way through the dense throng of people in an effort to get back to where they first met - the back of the ship where Rose was going to commit suicide, only four nights previous. The crowd is thick, people are crying, screaming, praying.

Billy Zane can be seen in one of the life-boats, using an oar to beat back desperate people who are already in the water, trying to get into the life-boat - the water is below freezing and people will die from hypothermia within minutes.

The large smoke stacks - held in place by steel cables - start to give way. The cables SNAP! hitting the water with such force that anyone in its way is sliced in half. When the stacks collapse onto the water, they crush anyone its path, including Jack's mate. The resulting wake, wash people off an upturned life-boat. They too, will soon die.

The propellors are out of the water - an awesome sight! People are either jumping or falling into the water, hitting the propellors on the way down. Now that's a fucked-up way to die.

The angle of the boat is such that people are now having to hold onto something to avoid sliding all the way back down the deck towards the water - have I mentioned that the water is below freezing?!! As they slide down, they're hitting whatever structures are in the way and as they hit the water, they run the risk of being sucked into/under the sinking ship. Either way, they're fucked.

Are you not entertained?

Rose and Jack push past a small group, all hanging on to their priest, as he prays aloud. And as hard as they try, his flock starts to lose their grip, one-by-one. Rose and Jack finally reach the railing at the rear of the ship. They are so cold - their faces are grey, their lips are blue - and their breath hangs in the air. The ship rises evermore steeply.

The life-boats row away from the ship - they don't want to be swamped by the massive wake that the ship will generate when it crashes back down, or get sucked into its vortex as it goes under. The people in the life-boats can only look back in horror.

And then the lights give out… and although the Titanic sank on a moonless night, in the movie you wouldn't have thought so - it's as if moonlight is touching every possible surface, every splash, every face. But hey, it's a movie… you have to be able to see the fucker, right??!

Ha! We finally learn the fate of Billy Zane's man - with blood oozing down his face he has picked the perfect spot to die! Right where the ship is RIPPING!! itself apart! It's like being swallowed into the gates of hell. Bummer.

The ship has SHREDDED! The rear of the ship slams back onto the water, obliterating anyone unlucky enough to be in its path; a huge wave like a tsunami, annihilating people already in the water. The ship is in two pieces, only held together - for the moment - by sections of its steel hull. The front half of the ship is now under water and is trying pretty bloody hard to make its way to the ocean floor. The back half of the ship rises into the air again - way faster and sharper than before. People don't have the strength to hold on anymore and so they fall to their deaths.

The only way to survive, if you are still on the ship, is to be as close to the back railing and - like Rose and Jack - be positioned so your body is on the outside of the rail - you can ride the ship as it goes down, and stay out of the water for as long as you can. We watch Rose watch other people hold on for as long as they can, and then fall… hitting structures, poles, catapulting into other people. And below, the water looks like it is boiling, as water permeates into every possible molecule of the front half of the ship.

Titanic just hangs there………… and then it begins its slow descent into the freezing North Atlantic Ocean. The water seething below them as RMS Titanic, from Liverpool sinks into its icy depths.

Rose and Jack are sucked under water, pulled down by the monstrous vortex Titanic has created. The whirlpool is too strong and Jack is wrenched away. Rose, who is wearing a life-vest, is the first to surface. She finds herself in the midst of hundreds of terrified and panicking people. They are desperate; not all have life-vests; not all can swim; some are holding on to their babies, their children; some have something to hold onto, most don't.

They are all freezing.

Jack comes across Rose just in time to save her from a drowning man - Jack has to punch the man to get him to loosen his grip on Rose - a drowning person in a frenzied fight for life. Despite the cold, Jack gets Rose to swim out of the melee and finds a floating panel for her to climb onto.

There continues to be a lot of debate as to whether there was enough room on that panel for Jack as well. He died because he stayed in the water. Not happy Rose!

Close by, one of the Officers clinging to some debris starts to blow a whistle and yells for the life-boats to come back. And as the people in the water scream out for help, the boats stay away.

Only one Officer had the good sense - the wisdom - to gather and tie-off as many life-boats as he could, transferring his load so that he could take a virtually empty life-boat back to pick up the survivors. The people in the water are growing quiet - they are dead or dying. The Officer with the whistle has died.

Jack, with icicles in his hair, intends on writing a "… strongly worded letter…" to the shipping company. It's always good if you're able to crack a joke in the face of death! Good for you Jack.

By the time the life-boat 'rescue team' makes its way back to the people in the water, they're all but dead. People look as though they're frozen solid… The sailors very carefully, manoeuvre their way through the dead, looking for the living.

Back to Rose and Jack. She's delirious, having a little sing-a-long as she gazes up at the stars, whilst Jack… well Jack is dead. Rose is still holding one of his hands, but he's just frozen in place.

Hang-on, Rose has seen the torch light from our rescue team!

Yep, it takes Rose a solid 15secs to realise that Jack has died. Now when I saw this movie 23yrs ago I was in tears - we all wanted that fairy-tale ending for them both. Rose has to let go of Jack - both physically and emotionally. We watch as Jack sinks to the depths of the ocean... and now Rose has to fight. She has to take all of the lessons she's learned, and the spirit that Jack awakened within her, to fight for her life.

Where the fuck did that guy with the whistle go??! Rose is in the water! She swims - dog-paddles - to where the dead Officer is bobbling and, tentatively at first, begins blowing. She actually gets a good whistle going because they've heard her... she's been saved!

As the survivors recover on the deck of the Carpathia - already segregated according to class - Rose decides to live. She hides from Billy Zane amidst the 3rd class passengers and gives her name as Rose Dawson - as if she were Jack's wife.

This bit I found too rich to believe - as the Carpathia sails past the Statue of Liberty - Rose finds something in the pocket of her coat. Now this coat is Billy Zane's coat - he gave it to Rose right before he started shooting at her. Incredibly, she still has it on. And even more incredibly, she's finally put her hands in her pockets, and finds... the Heart of the Ocean!!! That's right! That big blue diamond is not at the bottom of the ocean like Bill Paxton thinks - it has made its way to New York in 1912. So, where the hell is it now? Well, to find out we have to leave the past and come full circle back to Rose - the elderly Rose. She has just finished her story.

In the same place where so many people lost their lives, Rose - the 101yo with red painted toe-nails - makes her way to the rear of the salvage vessel and, ever so cheekily, drops the Heart of the Ocean overboard, returning it to it's rightful home - the ocean. She then goes to her cabin - and dies. The photo's that she brought with her, show a life well-lived. She has travelled the world; she got an education; she had a career; she learned to fly a plane; she had a family… she experienced life in a way she never would have had it not been for Jack - and just as she promised she would.

Fittingly, the movie ends with the wreck of the Titanic springing back to glorious life. The souls who died that fateful night, are waiting for Rose as she makes her way to the grand-staircase - where Jack is waiting for her by the grandfather clock. And Rose is young again.

A great way to end a really, really long movie.

My Rating: